How can you maintain a positive perspective of your partner and your relationship when things aren’t going so well?
It is inevitable that in every relationship there are going to be differences, and everyone has days when their emotions can get the better of them.
The problem is not that we have differences in our relationship, the problem lies in the way we handle those differences. When our ego gets in the way, we can easily say or do things that threaten the peace of our relationship and increase the level of relationship stress.
Instead of putting the peace of your relationship on the line when there’s a problem, wouldn’t it be better to develop the life skills needed to resolve problems with consideration, awareness and respect?
Here are some tips to make your relationship healthier and happier when things aren’t going so well:
1. Listen effectively. Listening is a crucial skill in boosting another person’s self-esteem, the silent form of flattery that makes people feel supported and valued. Listening and understanding what others communicate to us is the most important part of successful interaction and vice versa.
2. Don’t overreact. When your partner slips into an over emotional state of mind, learning not to take what they say too personally can save you a lot grief. Like I said earlier, we all have times when our emotions get the best of us. If you learn to stay calm and not get offended, it will help keep the problem from escalating. Of course, this means keeping your ego in check and focusing on what is good for the relationship. But remember, mastering this life skill means that you choose your response to any situation.
3. Focused breathing. There is a timeless piece of advice that says when you are angry, take ten deep breaths before you respond. Following this simple advice has calmed many a relationship storm. All you need to do is close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Inhale positive energy and exhale negative thoughts and feelings. Inhale love and appreciation, exhale anger and tension. Focus on this for several minutes and you will be in a much more resourceful state.
4. Never go to bed angry. You could dismiss this as an old saying, but is half-past midnight really the time to discuss a problem? If you have a disagreement in the evening, do not discuss things if you are both tired. Set a time to talk the following day, say goodnight, and sleep on it. Things will be much clearer in the morning.
5. Build your own sense of self worth. You need to love yourself before you can truly accept love from someone else. Work on your relationship with yourself so that you don’t project your own insecurities into your relationship. Developing a strong sense of self worth will help stabilize your relationship and you will experience greater peace and fewer conflicts.
Latin American Post | Luisa Fernanda Báez
Copy edited by Laura Rocha Rueda