6 things to do to survive and heal after a breakup
We have all had our hearts broken. When it happens to you personally, it’s devastating and while people can relate, they aren’t in that moment. The pain is there and it’s real for you. Sometimes it feels like you’re completely helpless and you’ll never get past the suffering. The important things to remember are that there are people there for you and that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and ways to help you get there.
1. Cry: Cry as much as you want for the first day or two. Crying when you’re hurting the most will release emotional energy, reduce stress and help you move on more quickly. After the first 48 hours or so, allow yourself a little time each day to vent your emotions and just feel bad. But don’t wallow. When that time is up, get back to doing other things that will make you feel better and help you heal.
2. Don’t contact the ex: This honestly is rule #1 in a break up. Keep your distance and don’t text, email, meet in person or call. You should probably take them off your Facebook or any other social networks while you’re at it. This doesn’t have to be permanent but while you’re vulnerable to any mean or in contrast loving words, it’s best not to have their voice in your head. The risk of getting back into a relationship when it wasn’t working is high. You may also end up in a war of words causing further hurt and anxiety. Cutting the ties for good when it’s over puts you on a faster path to healing.
3. Exercise: Working out is a great way to work on mending your broken heart. When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins, which interact with the receptors in your brain that perceive pain. Regular exercise reduces stress, wards off anxiety and depression, increases self-esteem, helps you sleep, and boosts your immune system and overall health. And by working out frequently while you’re grieving and healing, you’ll look and feel your best when you’re ready to try a new relationship.
4. Find yourself: Chances are, you lost a piece of yourself in the relationship. Now is your chance to find you again and this should be fun. This is one of the more positives to your break up so embrace it. Maybe you let go of a hobby you used to love to do or stopped taking scented baths. You can eat salad and granola bars for dinner if you feel like it. There are a lot of personal things that made you special, you just have to find them again and get the feeling back. Alternatively, you may have grown in the relationship which means you can discover new things about yourself.
5. Spend time with friends: You may need some solo time to grieve after a breakup, but don’t spend too much time alone. Your friends want to help, so let them. Scheduling time with your friends, whether you meet to play tennis or just get together for coffee, will remind you that you are loved by some wonderful people and that you can have a full and rewarding life; even without your ex.
6. Meditate: Whatever life throws at you, meditation is always one of those things that can bring you back to yourself and your center. This one discipline can assist you in all the complicated emotions you have about yourself and your heart. Getting to the heart of your pain and the reasons things didn’t work out is a miracle worker if you’re willing to sit with it.
Follow these eight steps to work through all the aftermath of a break up, then breathe, smile, and move on!